Posts Tagged sarcasm
Well, okay, not that old.
But I’m starting to feel older as my gifting purposes change for just birthdays & holidays -> birthdays, holidays & graduations -> weddings & holidays -> weddings, holidays, babies & funerals. I guess the normal transition of life events but still, making me feel older. Yes, I buy funeral gifts, normally just a hand written note & ivy (they’re hard to kill & thus excellent funeral plants).
But today we’re focusing on the most expensive gifting season; wedding season. Merciful heavens, I want to get married! Look at all the stuff they get!
Registries: Bane of my existence. If you register at some ridiculously priced facility, or some 1 store in Texas place prepare to not get anything on your list. I am not driving 239 mi to the nearest branch of a store to find out you really want those diamond encrusted lobster tongs. You’re getting something practical or if I decide that practicals too much of a stretch for you, then you’re getting cash. I’ll even be nice & give it to you before you take that two week honeymoon backpacking, er, first class trip to French wineries. Be kind to your guests, we’re trying to celebrate your wedding not take out a small loan for those tongs… & remember to repay the favor when those poor single ladies get hitched, just because you now have 5 kids in braces when we stroll down the aisle does not mean you can reuse some cobwebbed gift we gave you alllll those years ago.
If you choose to wear heels like this to weddings, friends, bring shoes like this for the drive to & fro!
Your feet with thank you.
No wedding is complete without a few hitches (I’m so punnerific!). All jokes aside, a few necessities should be crammed in that ridiculously small clutch that looks so Fab with that dress:
I’d also include a tide stick (mini would be good), oil blot sheets, a car key (leave the rest in a stored spot), a cellphone, & an id. Who knows if the bartender believes you’re really 28 ½ & legal? (Snag him ladies, he’s a keeper!)
Lastly to have a fun, safe wedding, drink less than you think you should, eat the not super sugared food, & most of all avoid the relative or two who pokes your belly or glares at your empty left hand & asks when are you going to finally grow up & be a successful life entity.
I’m off to another wedding this weekend, & I’m pretty prepared. But if you’re getting married look out for birdseed, I have a great sneak attack.
(That’s me on the left, bulls eye!)